I don't agree with a philosophy that demands you wake up in the morning and say 'Hello world, I'm feeling great, how are you today? I wake up tired and cranky and immediately think about coffee. We could just put that down to physiological differences. It's what comes after making the morning affirmations that raises my ire. More positive thoughts that put you in the centre of your own little world, thoughts that tell you to love yourself, that you are the most important person in the world. Oh come on, stop navel gazing. There's so much you need to be doing. As a non Christian I apologise for stealing this analogy - Jesus was born, divided loaves and fishes, walked on water, died on the cross and was born again by the time he was 33. Now there's an over achiever.

Most of this positive thinking mumbo jumbo is inspired by the mountain of positive thinking books clogging up the market. Here's my big tip:don't think positively, act positively. I have met a lot of positive thinkers who are stagnating, unable to move on from the smiling exercises in front of the mirror they have been duped into believing have an effect.

In one of my earlier incarnations I was a documentary cameraman who specialised in science programs. We were filming a program on the science of happiness. One element of that required we spend a few days with a husband and wife couple in the USA. This pair were gurus of the Self Help marketplace. My time with them was revealing.

We filmed as they went about their daily chores, as they put their positive thinking ideas into action. A central theme to their philosophy was the careful choice of words you used, a sort of think before you speak wisdom (there's a novel idea). The result was laughable, truly comedic. Like most couples of long standing there was a need to bicker but this remained repressed as they thoughtfully uttered well considered niceties through clenched teeth. To me it was living proof of what works on paper often carries no weight in real life. It's not to say there was NO merit in their ideas but it certainly didn't live up to the hype. For me it reinforced my thinking that most self help books simply turn commonsense into academic jargon.

For the record I do subscribe to positive thinking, but to the type described in this wonderful short story.

Once upon a time there lived a wise Japanese farmer who lived on a farm
with his one son and their one horse
They lived next door to a not so wise neighbour

One evening there was a terrible rain storm
A lightning bolt broke the fence and the horse escaped and ran out in to the hills
The not so wise neighbour looked at the old Japanese farmer and said
You have such bad luck ... you are such an unlucky man
The wise farmer smiled and nodded and said
Who’s to say what’s good and what’s bad.

For the very next day their horse ran in from the hills with 25 wild horses behind it
The son fixed the fence and they had a corral of 25 new horses
All of a sudden the farmer was a wealthy man
The next door neighbour said
You are such a lucky man ...you always have good luck ... why are you always such a lucky man? I wish I had good luck like you
And the wise farmer sat back and thought
Well, who’s to say what’s good and what’s bad?

And the very next day the son was out trying to train one of the beautiful snow white horses
He hopped on its bare back and as the horse danced and bucked it threw the son
And he landed in the corral breaking his leg in three places
The next door neighbour butted in
You are such an unlucky man ... Look at your son all broken, you have such bad luck ... You are such an unlucky man
The wise farmer smiled and said who’s to say what’s good and what’s bad.

For the very next day a general with his battle beaten troops came marching thru the village
And was recruiting every able bodied young man to take off to a war in which they would certainly face defeat and death
Well the son was in no shape for battle
So they took the neighbour.

If you're interested in the power of positive actions, I'm happy to share with you how I turn ideas into actions. It's all free if you're interested. look for my 7 Things I Wish They Had Told Me When I Was At School series.