I always wonder when I read shyness advice if the person dispensing it has actually had first hand experience. I hope you ask the same question of me.

If you do the answer is a resounding YES. I don't put anything in these pages that I haven't had some integral connection to. More than anything I want to share with you my experiences as both an average person and a shy person and to demonstrate that you too can overcome shyness.

I've been a little tense. Now it's over. The tight feeling in my stomach has gone. It'd been there for the last 24 hours. I've just finished my first radio interview. I perform in front of people for a living so why was I so nervous?

Fears:

We all have them. Mine was that my mind would go totally blank as it often does. You see I'm fine on the stage with a rehearsed script but talking off the cuff really worries me. But isn't it just like having a conversation? That's just the point, I don't have many conversations. By nature I'm not a chatty person (which always added to my shyness) and I get very focused on my projects, of which there are many. I tend to spend too much time at the keyboard writing, which for me comes easily. I enjoy communicating my feelings through written word. My self confidence wavers when I move away from this.

So even though I have all this knowledge in my head, when it comes to verbally communicating it … well at times it's a wreck, my train of thought becomes derailed. I simply don't practise conversing enough and I know I need to change that to really beat shyness.

Don't let them beat you:

I could have easily bottled out of doing this at the last moment but I know that by not facing my fears head on those fears only grow larger. I'm used to stepping outside my comfort zone now because I know that it's the only way I will grow. If you stay clinging to what is safe and comfortable then you will likely in ten years time be the person you are now. Maybe that is enough for you? It's not for me because it means I'm not learning and missing out on reaching my full potential.

I could have taken another course and not written this now, and instead taken the other route of saying that it was a breeze. To be honest I probably would have done that – a common symptom of a sufferer of shyness - once but I've found there is so much more power in admitting that it's ok to be a beginner. It frees you up to be yourself, you don't get caught up in the lies that are part of the deception and people respond positively to your honesty and candour. We simply can't be experts at everything so why waste your time creating that impression.

It wasn't what I thought:

Now my interview went fine. It seemed like five minutes but actually lasted fifteen. Luckily my radio host was a skilled interviewer and he literally drew the information out of me. I went in there to talk about a new motivational school show that I'm starting but little of that came across. He wanted to talk more about me and my varied achievements, so all I had to do was tell a few stories. I um'd and ah'd a bit at the start but got into the groove fairly quickly.

This worked for me:

I think the best thing is what I didn't do. I didn't cram. I have this bad habit of cramming my mind full of information at the last moment, just like cramming for a test. Experience has shown me that this is the worst thing to do. It just acts like a dam wall that won't let the other stuff flow out. So this time I didn't cram. I just took a few dot points on a sheet of paper that I didn't even refer to. I've learnt that you can't beat shyness by trying to memorise things. It's much more effective to look people in the eye and truly listen to what they are saying rather than thinking about what you will sound like.

What you can expect on the inside:

Should you be faced with doing a radio interview this is what you will be faced with. You will have a set of headphones to wear and the spongy black bulb of the microphone is literally at your lips. Take in a bottle of water and have it uncapped. I needed it as my mouth went very dry within a few minutes. At the base of the microphone stem is a red 'cough' button that mutes the mike should you need to.

So take comfort in the knowledge that I have as many fears as you. Right now I am a stronger person than I was 8 hours ago. My shyness is losing its grip. All it took was a little preparation, a little courage and a big belief that any mistakes I might make will be quickly forgotten by the world at large.